The strong emotions you experience as a result of a cancer diagnosis may affect your relationships with your family and friends. Your experiences may cause you to make some changes in your life or develop a new outlook on your values, priorities and life in general. Sharing those thoughts and feelings with your family, friends and work colleagues may strengthen your relationships.
I turned my cancer into a positive outlook and made a ‘bucket list’ and I am having a great time crossing things off this list as I achieve them!!
If you feel uncomfortable talking about your feelings, take your time and approach others when you are ready. You can always call the Cancer Council Helpline, Lifeline, The Salvation Army or other support networks to help you through.
While you are giving yourself time to adjust to cancer, do the same for your friends and family. Everyone will react in a different way, by putting on a happy face, playing down your anxiety, or even ignoring you. They are also adjusting in their own way to changes. If someone’s behaviour upsets you, it may help to discuss how you both feel about the situation.
When I told my family and friends I had cancer, they reacted by saying how sorry they felt for me but this annoyed me. I didn’t want pity or to be made to feel “oh no, poor you’! Initially, my husband cried, my children were just silent, actually I was a bit disappointed they didn’t react because I could see how numb they were trying to understand what I was telling them. I felt their pain and confusion. Even though they are young adults, I just wanted to make them feel better, to tell them it would be ok. I did not want them to worry about me. I will never forget my son saying to me ‘Mum you are the strongest person I know and you will get through this”.
Cancer treatment can change the way you feel about yourself (your self-esteem). You may feel less confident about who you are and what you can do. This is common whether your body has changed physically or not. Give yourself time to adapt to any changes. Try to see yourself as a whole person (body, mind and personality) instead of focusing only on the parts of you that have changed.